I’ve never really understood the current trend for caviar nails. Yes, you heard me – caviar nails. You get a heap of multicoloured microbeads, and stick them to your nails with polish, and voila – you have a manicure that resembles the offspring of fish.
But what really baffled me was the practicality of it all. I mean, how do the beads stay on? Seriously? Not to mention, I’d never thought it an attractive look. Nevertheless, my mother came home one day with a DIY caviar nail kit, and I thought – why not?
Now, I think: Whoever invented caviar nails can go rot in hell.
Problem 1: The mess. Oh dear Lord, the mess! The beads might have come in this cute container, but its small size didn’t offer any favours. It was rather difficult to get my fingers in the jar to get the beads to stick, get the entire nail covered, and keep the beads from spilling over the edge.
Then there’s the issue of brushing off the excess beads once dry. The kit came with a little brush – which was helpful, but the extra beads didn’t go into the jar like good little sports. No, they had to fling every which way.
My desk and floor look like they’ve been visited by a bead-pooping fairy. As does the bottom of the shower, after drying myself.
Problem 2: How the heck do they stay on? It is so darn hard to keep the entire nail covered in beads once dry. I mean, one good knock, and you lose the beads from your tips. And once the beads are gone, all you can see is a smeared mess of the green polish underneath (supplied in the kit). It looks like I have gangrene, or something.
Problem 3: Ouch! Those beads hurt! Though diminutive in size, they certainly pack a wallop when scratching against your skin.
Needless to say, I gave up. They had to go. I don’t even want to think how many beads I would’ve lost in my hair tomorrow morning if they’d stayed. So my verdict: not only do caviar nails look terrible, they are utterly impractical.
Stay far, far away.